Reposting a facebook note - 5 October, 2009

Someone asked me why I don’t put on Facebook that I’m single. And while I in no way think this applies to all people who put single and, therefore, mean no offense and hope you don’t feel the need to change your status if you have ‘Single’, I just felt (especially after the last time I had to change it from ‘In a Relationship’) that it was some sort of advertisement. Like, “Look at me! I’m back on the market! I’m single- I’m available now…” And here’s the thing: while ‘Single’ would be the more accurate status than ‘In a Relationship’ or ‘Married’- I don’t think I necessarily AM available.

I’ve been in love twice and while I definitely left those relationships with some good lessons-learned experiences and don’t regret them, I’m just not sure how many times one heart is supposed to be that open… especially when that openness needs to be relinquished at some point. And while I’m not the kind of person who thinks you absolutely need to know for sure you’re going to marry someone before you even start dating them, it would be ideal if the next guy I invested my emotions in was the last. This doesn’t mean that if I date someone in future and find he is not the one that I will either

a.) hate myself and resign to living out my days in a convent or

b.) decide I’ve had my three strikes and am forced to marry him anyway!

Lol… It’s just that your heart is precious. And while you shouldn’t guard it to the point of fear or denying it to those who are deserving, I do encourage you to be wisely cautious with it. It’s the only one you have and you deserve to have the kind of freedom in your ‘last’ relationship that comes from saving it somewhat. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t love or put yourself out there or avoid heartbreak at all cost. In fact, my heartbreaks have been some of the (ultimately) best experiences cuz I learned how to let God renew me and I learned what it was that I truly want and deserve from this ‘last guy.’ My point is, I’m not ‘Single’ because I’m not so much dating as waiting. And the only person I will be truly available for is Mr. Last Guy. (Haha… I’m going to start using that name now:)

So, DO love, DON’T hate yourself for mistakes, DO let pains become lessons and contribute to the awesome character that you’re building, DO give God a part of your heart that is exclusively His to guard no matter what, and DO realize that your love is a gift and it’s worth being saved for someone who is worthy.

And in terms of friends and family, you can never love too many so DO know that you are truly loved by me. Have a good night! xx