you know how when you break up with someone, certain things that you loved become associated with memories of that person and, as an extension, the pain that eventually came from them? and then these things that you enjoyed now make you hurt because, ironically, they remind you of being happy- but in a way that you can't be again because it was a uniquely patented happiness distributed by that particular relationship over which you've lost the rights. if this sounds a little official, it's because it feels official. divorces are settled in court and everything is legally divided and dissolved. but when you break up with someone you're not married to, you still lose things; they still get half of what you shared with them rendering your half useless and painful to look at because it's so obviously no longer what it was. anyway, the point here? a few years back, i had one of these emotional severances which left me feeling that i'd lost things i had loved- like places i'd gone to, music, and even mutual friends. some of my favourite songs were lost in that breakage because they were all tied up in the memory of this relationship. after not listening to some of my fav songs and bands for about a year, i slowly started reclaiming them by forcing myself to listen to them and allowing them to be associated with happiness and enjoyment once again. it's really sad when hellogoodbye makes you cry! and now they don't:) i wrote a song a couple years back that had this part that said, "i no longer cry when i hear hellogoodbye. i don't even see you when i'm in my own guestroom. babe, i'm not sure where you are, but it's not in my guitar- these things are mine." it's important to disentangle the things you still need to live a functional life from the pain of memories you can and should no longer live with daily. but i was watching Made of Honor the other day which i hadn't seen since it came out in the cinema and i remembered how in the end, when the credits rolled to this song, i'd left as quickly as possible. so, watching it the other day made me realise that, in my musical therapy a couple years ago, i'd forgotten to reclaim this particular song!! i haven't heard it in years, so, i now made sure to do that and am listening to it, as i type, with nothing but appreciation for its wistful nostalgia. you stole my heart many moons ago, (btw, i also got that back;) but you can't steal my music, thank you very much!

don't let things you loved be lost to you forever. chances are, the person or situation which took custody of them from you in the first place isn't worth denying yourself something that was a part of you and has the right to still be.