I was your lesson learned
I was your tower burned
Your leap of faith, though the faith was mine-
You never left the ground,
I made you better for the others
I would've prayed you through your struggles
You'll write a thousand songs
But I'll never be your sound.
But if you'd listened, you would've heard mine,
Yea, if you'd listened, you would've been mine,
If you'd listened, you could've shared mine
But as it stands...
As it stands: You heard n o t h i n g .
why doesn't life have a soundtrack? i was thinking today when i was listening to THIS song that it would be perfect for a first kiss moment. the aching crescendo leading up to 4:14 has, in the past couple years, prompted me to call those amazing moments that are the result of excruciatingly long and convoluted culmination "4:14 moments." it'd be fun to soundtrack movies... don't think i ever will, but it'd be a cool job. you can enhance or basically ruin the moment with the choice of music. this is why i wish music would spontaneously begin at emotional moments in real life.
anyway, going to go get ready for my son's first classmate birthday party. he was very chuffed about the invitation and has been asking all week, "is it the weekend, yet?" haha... precious.
(other good scatteredtrees songs here)
i need to feel better, like, now.
"November" by Gemma Hayes pretty much sums it up if you replace 'November' with 'the last part of January and February.'
mmm... need a hug. also, need this paper to write itself and for my midterm material to plant itself in my head. why, oh why do things never work that way??
so, have you ever felt ambiguous about a situation until something happens that basically robs you of the choice? i've been confused about something; how i felt about something. did i want it? did i not? what was best? what should i do? what shouldn't i do? how much more should i pray about it? blabbidy-blablablah... and now, i think it's no longer even a possibility. and knowing that has cleared the ambiguity: i want it. and not cuz i'm the kind of person who wants what i can't have, cuz i am quite the opposite kind of person. it's more like i wanted it all along but was inhibited by my overly-analytical side. (and in case you're wondering, this has nothing to do with the previous posts. this is fresh crappiness!:)
"opportunity" comes from the latin word opportunitatem, which, in part, means 'favourable time.' meaning, if you sit and wait too long, TIME will pass and you will miss it! the lesson here- if something's worth it, go for it, cuz 'favourable times' are not guaranteed. if you have one, don't assume you'll be lucky enough to get another. blah...
You'll get over me...
Then I'll get over you,
We'll look back and wonder what it is that we went through.
You'll question was it love at all,
Did you truly allow yourself to fall?
But I'll know.
Though you won't let it out~
Preferring doubt to missing out,
I'm not afraid to say I love you,
Cuz it's truth.
Though I'll have to let you go, I will still know
I will still know...
how bittersweet the dreams undreamt,
the words unsaid,
the nights unspent
the feelings our hearts seem to share
the looks that turn to silent stares
are frozen by the light of day
and the truth that things can't be this way.
i see your secret smile
and wonder if in a while
it will release the light it traps behind your eyes-
the same light i try so hard to disguise.
your embrace, it feels like home
as the scent of your cologne fills up my head
reluctantly you walk away
sighing all you didn't say
as i'm left in a cloud of you...
and doubts that this is true.
it's been a month for finding out stuff that's a little hard to swallow...
in the words of scarlett o'hara- tomorrow is another day.
and in the words of me- the fastest way to get to tomorrow is to go to sleep now, so goodnight:)
Song of the Night: Mozella, "Light Years Away" Click HERE to listen
"It's almost like you had it planned,
It's like you smiled and shook my hand and said,
'Hey, I'm about to screw you over big time.'
And what was I supposed to do?
I was stuck in between you and a hard place.
We won't talk about the hard place...
It's how you wanted it to be
It's like you played a joke on me
And I lost a friend
In the end.
And I think that I cried for days,
But now that seems light years away
And I'm never going back
To who I was.
But I don't blame you anymore
That's too much pain to store
It left me half dead
Inside my head
And boy, looking back I see
I'm not the girl I used to be
When I lost my mind,
It saved my life.
That life seems like light years away
...Light years away..."
in the words of scarlett o'hara- tomorrow is another day.
and in the words of me- the fastest way to get to tomorrow is to go to sleep now, so goodnight:)
Song of the Night: Mozella, "Light Years Away" Click HERE to listen
"It's almost like you had it planned,
It's like you smiled and shook my hand and said,
'Hey, I'm about to screw you over big time.'
And what was I supposed to do?
I was stuck in between you and a hard place.
We won't talk about the hard place...
It's how you wanted it to be
It's like you played a joke on me
And I lost a friend
In the end.
And I think that I cried for days,
But now that seems light years away
And I'm never going back
To who I was.
But I don't blame you anymore
That's too much pain to store
It left me half dead
Inside my head
And boy, looking back I see
I'm not the girl I used to be
When I lost my mind,
It saved my life.
That life seems like light years away
...Light years away..."
don't tie me down just now,
my heart should not yet settle
but looking into auburn eyes
can't help but feel there's nothing better
can't tell you those three words
or i'll drown within their depth
but my heart still holds their truth
it's like gasping for each breath
keep your distance now
though my heart breaks for each mile
hide your face from me
though my soul aches for your smile
i'm scared of loving you
i am scared that i already do
i'm scared of loving you-
of loving you the way that i do
so, keep your distance now
though my heart breaks for each mile
hide your face from me
though my soul aches for your smile
don't tie me down just now,
my heart should not yet settle
but looking into auburn eyes
can't help but feel there's nothing better...
but looking into auburn eyes
can't help but feel there's nothing better
can't tell you those three words
or i'll drown within their depth
but my heart still holds their truth
it's like gasping for each breath
keep your distance now
though my heart breaks for each mile
hide your face from me
though my soul aches for your smile
i'm scared of loving you
i am scared that i already do
i'm scared of loving you-
of loving you the way that i do
so, keep your distance now
though my heart breaks for each mile
hide your face from me
though my soul aches for your smile
don't tie me down just now,
my heart should not yet settle
but looking into auburn eyes
can't help but feel there's nothing better...
not to be conceited or anything, but i'm relatively smart...
and nietzche was an incoherent babbler of a man. i understand the words he uses...which is why i'm capable of understanding that they don't make sense when put together in that order.
perhaps there was a reason he never married... i'm just sayin'...
oh, God, will this class ever end??
i loved you forever
a long time ago
we lived out a lifetime
but you'll never know
i made you so happy
you learned how to grow
we had three bright children
that you'll never know
we bought a small house
planted tulips in rows
fought about my decor,
good thing you'll never know.
we spent christmas eve
at your cold island home
with your cold family
like you didn't know
you sifted through jobs
as i taught and i wrote
helped you find your true calling
now you'll never know.
we moved that one summer
and my favorite vase broke
you laughed when i cried
lucky that you don't know
your dad passed away
and you couldn't cope
but i held you each day
not that you'll ever know
our kids went to uni
and got married and so
we felt old together
but you'll never know
i had a health scare
you tried not to show
how you thought you might lose me
but you'll never know.
we sold the big house
used the money to go
all the places we'd dreamed of
not that you'll ever know.
i stroked your face daily
said, "i love you, you know"
and you smiled and nodded
but now you won't know
you left this world first
cuz you needed me most
tulips garnished your grave
though you'd never know.
i loved you forever
but you let me go
so none of this happened
and you'll never know.
a long time ago
we lived out a lifetime
but you'll never know
i made you so happy
you learned how to grow
we had three bright children
that you'll never know
we bought a small house
planted tulips in rows
fought about my decor,
good thing you'll never know.
we spent christmas eve
at your cold island home
with your cold family
like you didn't know
you sifted through jobs
as i taught and i wrote
helped you find your true calling
now you'll never know.
we moved that one summer
and my favorite vase broke
you laughed when i cried
lucky that you don't know
your dad passed away
and you couldn't cope
but i held you each day
not that you'll ever know
our kids went to uni
and got married and so
we felt old together
but you'll never know
i had a health scare
you tried not to show
how you thought you might lose me
but you'll never know.
we sold the big house
used the money to go
all the places we'd dreamed of
not that you'll ever know.
i stroked your face daily
said, "i love you, you know"
and you smiled and nodded
but now you won't know
you left this world first
cuz you needed me most
tulips garnished your grave
though you'd never know.
i loved you forever
but you let me go
so none of this happened
and you'll never know.
siempre...
